I AM is a very unusual film. The project is to create a major open source film that marries the story of a young girl’s self-discovery and awakening with a telling of the earth’s evolution though spatiosphere to physiosphere, though the biosphere to sociosphere, on to the noosphere and further into the theosphere. Attempting an integral approach, as a friend of I-I, it rings with high idealism.

It’s a visually stunning piece that sometimes does feel a bit too sappily narrated, but is overall very impressive despite some acknowledged flaws. The idealism is obvious, but more with a flavour of purity than in a negative sense. As a foundation for a living piece to prompt unity, it’s superb.
I AM is free to stream on the website and available on DVD, making it wonderfully accessable. The film will be officially rereleased with new content at the creators’ discretion, but anyone is free to modify the film, which should lead to some fantastic creative opportunities. It’s also to be available in many languages, with English, Spanish, Arabic and Farsi already available on the site.

Friday I went with Gwen for her birthday dinner at her parents’ place. It was nice to meet some more of her family and have an enjoyable meal with them, but there was always the loom of her father being near to passing. That night I gave Gwen her gift, a panda t-shirt from Threadless (incidentally, Threadless is having a $10 sale on shirts right now).

Sunday night my roommates and I hosted a party that was a cross between a Hallowe’en, birthday and going away party. Andrew and Allison will soon be moving to Edmonton this week, so we needed to have one last bash with them. Gwen’s birthday was, of course, just before that and several others have birthdays soon. Costumes and Hallowe’en are wonderfully fun, so it made sense to include those.
We had a really nice time, once again with great food and good people, including a trio of tipsy lasses. Nathan came as a pirate, Andrew as a guy with a sword, Allison as a Greek woman, Sara as Catwoman, Pam as a hot goth girl, Gwen as a sexy panda, Jana as Audrey Hepburn (!?), April as 80s Girl, Robin as herself (!?) and myself as a star wizard.

This morning, not long after Gwen left, I received a sobbing call from her. Her father had passed in the night and her brother met her at work to let her know. I’ve watched her struggle with him dying and know it’s been terribly hard on her. I hope I’ll be able to be there for her as much as possible and have her on my mind constantly.

For the little over a year I’ve been listening to The Cr?xshadows, I’ve been enraptured by the band. DreamCypher, their new album, won’t be out until January, but “Sophia”, the first single, is out now and debuted at #1 and #7 on the Billboard dance and singles charts, respectively. The song is beautiful and I’m looking forward to hearing the full album in the new year.

Over at Lists of Bests I’ve been working my way though Pitchfork Media’s “Top 100 Albums of the 1990s” (I’m at 90/100) and discovering many artists and albums I was unaware of before. His Name Is Alive has been one band that has completely captured my attention. Diverse, beautiful and surprising, this music was well described as “Like dating a star-crossed werewolf behind your parents’ back.” I’ve been enjoying each of their albums, with the recent Detrola being my favourite. It’s a superbly produced, moving and fresh album that has been in my headphones for a couple weeks now. “Sometimes Screw” is the highlight for me and I’ve had the erotic chorus stuck in my head for a while now. If you want a sample of the band’s work, they have Someday RMX, a remix album, available for free download now!

Do any of you remember the Gin Blossoms? I loved the albums they released in the 90′s and was pleased to find their new album picks up where those left off. Major Lodge Victory is everything I’d expect from the band, with wonderful rock, alt-country and pop tunes that easily become a soundtrack to lives. The band hasn’t lost any of their sharpness and offer nostalgic hints and sweet hooks that had me from the first listen.

I’m entirely in love with Metric, Broken Social Scene and the other projects Emily Haines has worked on, and her solo debut, Knives Don’t Have Your Back is on the same level as those. Intimate, graceful and exquisitely crafted, it’s become a perfect fit for this autumn. It’ll no doubt be accompanying me during my walks through dead leaves throughout November.

I discovered Found Magazine years ago and was enchanted by the glimpses into the private lives of strangers it offered. The magazine and the subsequent book collections, bring together photographs, notes, drawings and other items that were lost, abandoned or forgotten, leading to beautiful, heartbreaking, funny and facinating hints at lives we may never know. This past week I read Found II and had a wonderful time exploring each page.

Max Barry is now cemented as one of my favourite fiction authors. So far he’s been focused on corporate satire and does an amazing job of depicting the more absurd elements of business life. I finally read Company and Syrup lately and enjoyed them immensely. Be sure to check his work out for completely entertaining and sharp stories.

I’ve been consuming books, albums and films at a rapid pace lately and enjoying some luminous works. Here are some snippets about some that I especially loved.

I’ve read a number of Ken Wilber’s books this month, but One Taste, a collection of journal entries, resonated with me most. Ken Wilber has created a philosophical framework that includes more truth than any other in history and is, I believe, the most important thinker of our time. You get a dose of his unparalleled cognitive brilliance in One Taste, but also are exposed to a highly realized spiritual practictioner, an art aficionado, a lover and much more as you step inside Ken’s head. One Taste is a beautiful, intimate and radiant expression.

I’ve become an admirer of Saul Williams through his talks at Integral Naked, his brilliant hip hop and mind-blowing poetry. Strangely, it took me a long while to finally see his breakout performance in the film Slam. Though it was overall a great movie, it was Saul’s performance that absolutely gripped me, pulling me deep into the heady mix of hip hop, crime and mysticism. A hip hop film with the assertion, “I am before, I am before before. Before death is eternity, after death is eternity, there is no death – there is only eternity,” couldn’t have been more surprising or more right.

Conscious and mystic hip hop also buzzed on my headphones with K-Os’ new release, Atlantis: Hymns for Disco. More introspective, rich beated and lyrically impressive than his first two, this album immediately seduced me. Appearances by Buck 65, Sam Roberts and Kevin Drew (of Broken Social Scene) are also a treat. I think it’s safe to say that K-Os has cemented himself at the forefront of the hip hop world, and it’s hearting to have some “Knowledge of Self” pulling folks up.

To be continued…

Holding equanimity in the face of suffering is a challenge, even though I surprise myself with how unguardedly I can feel without being paralyzed by it. Not turning away is by no means easy but there is no other choice I can accept. I feel increasingly liberated from samsara the more I drink of it.

Recently many of my friends have been going through painful and adverse periods. Gwen’s father is dying and that has torn at her in ways that are excruciating just to witness. Two of my friends recently have had unexpected hospital stays. This past week Nathan had his appendix removed and is now recovering. Just last night Jana was admitted to the hospital for a week to recover from a bone infection caused by an attack from Mithra a couple weeks ago. They and my other friends going through painful times are in my thoughts often now. There’s no lack of suffering in those dear to me, and because of that I’m endlessly thankful for my own increasing ability to be present in the face of that.

The broader world shakes some ugliness at me often too. This week, on a break at work, I turned on the television and stopped on an NBC news station. Talk was about Mexico and the planned fence for its border with the U.S. Each of the supposed experts interviewed while I watched were asked “Is Mexico an enemy of America?” and responded with an unwavering “Yes!” For people to sincerely believe a non-hostile nation is an enemy makes no sense to me at all. It’s sometimes easy to ignore the sting of such hateful ethnocentrism, but moments like that really shake me up and remind me of the importance of working to lift people out of that stage with as much grace, compassion and resolve as can be mustered.

In all of this, a practice of Tonglen has been valuable.

Through facing the suffering without in an open manner I am in turn able to be intimate with my own pain and reside in freedom of greater and greater clarity in the midst of anything that arises. It hurts more but bothers me less; divine joy sneaks into every colliding spark even as I am undone. More radiant and mysterious is every moment.

In the time since my last entry I finally bought a ladder so that I can make full use of my loft (yes, thanks to Gwen it now is listed at 43Places). It’s been great to use it as a place to store my excess stuff and to hang out with my friends. They took over the walls and decorated them with drawings and words that are strange, childish and entirely amusing. Gwen even marked her territory on one wall.

Saturday night a few of us had a potluck Thanksgiving dinner at our apartment. It turned out very well, with great food and even better people. The only sad part was that it was the very first Thanksgiving meal I’ve experienced where there were no leftovers. Normally I’d have a few days of delicious food, but not this time. My world seems to have entirely shifted.

A recent study seems to point to average being beautiful. A study published in Psychological Science suggests that the less processing time we take to recognize something, the more we like it. Thus, the more average or less deviant something is, the more beautiful we find it. The averaged face of 15 women included with the article certainly is very attractive, but I tend to enjoy deviance a great deal as well. How do we include the appeal of the exotic in considerations of beauty?

On the other side of 9 days straight of working and a lone day off, I’m looking forward to my two weeks off in November. Finances will keep me close to home for that period, but I intend to make good use of the time away from the hotel. I’ll be doing some dedicated meditation, yoga, resistance training and writing each day, essentially a dedicated two weeks of Integral Life Practice, so it should be a very rewarding break from my too hectic normal routine and a good chance to ingrain some lasting habits. I’m hoping to shatter some unpleasant bits of my life and dive into some radiance.

In recent months my sparse free time has been spent almost exclusively with my friends here in the city. That has come at the expense of my net presence and work on some projects I have germinating, but it’s been nice. I’ll need to set some stronger boundaries soon in order to focus on getting a proper balance of my priorities in place, and I’m sure my friends will be understanding of that.

Every now and then my wanderlust bubbles up and I’m left longing to run off to some distant place. Today Iceland has again made me wish to be on its volcanic ground. The country’s captial city of Reykjavik is making efforts to promote star gazing by turning out the lights across the city. By intentionally cutting light pollution, the city and others in Iceland are promoting an appreciation of the cosmos that is admirable and providing wonderful example for how those of us in places soaked in light pollution can find relief.

Nintendo’s Wii has me rather excited about its use as a gaming and entertainment system (the Opera web browser will be a key asset for me), and I’ll likely pick one up in the new year. I was thrilled to find out that the Wii will feature emulation of Commodore 64 games. The Commodore 64 was the first computer I owned and brought me many of my lasting memories of gaming. It will be nice to relive some of those old classics soon.
My friends Andrew and Allison will be moving across the country soon and we’re expecting to use the Wii to facilitate a continuation of the fun we’ve had gaming together in the time since they returned to Nova Scotia from Texas. To have one system we’ll all be able to afford and be excited to play will be a blessing, I’m sure.