There’s a beautiful downpour outside. I can hear the drops battering my window in the silences of a song I’m listening to (Metric’s “Too LIttle, Too Late”). Rains are one of the joys of Autumn I very much enjoy. The season’s all about descent, whether leaves, water or temperatures. I feel, in contrast with this, a degree of strengthing and rising of my own development, understanding and mood.
My recent reading, listening and thinking on the integral approach to life has brought a lot of subtle shifts in my way of living. I can’t discount my increasing interpersonal comfort and the beautiful atmosphere of the season in the mix, though. It’s all coming together in a genuine shift in myself and I’m very thankful for that. I have, for the first time in a couple months, a strong drive for personal development that is actually manifesting in real work across most aspects of my life.
Today I began some yoga work. I’m focusing on some stetching that will enable me to sit in the lotus pose while meditating. Positioning has been one of the greatest obsticles for me in my meditative practice and I’d very much like to move forward strongly with that as well as improve my overall physical and mental flexibility. I’m wondering how to balance meditation, weight training and my writing practice in the coming months.
Tonight I talked with Alisha about taking part in NaNoWriMo this November.

Last year we both failed to complete the project; She had her laptop crash and I simply didn’t prepare well. This year I’m hoping to have proper outlines in place and put together some sort of support group to keep me on track. I have a lot of change happening in the next couple months, but I intend to not be derailed from my goals. Please feel invited to prod me on if I do.

I’ll leave you with mention of 10 MPH, a film about a cross-America trip on a Segway. I’m looking forward to watching it after hearing an interview with one of the creators on an episode of Daily Sonic. My wanderlust makes me a bit envious of those fellows and their adventure; I’ve love to do something similar.

I’ve spent a while this evening listening to some of the recordings shared at Quiet American. It’s a site housing field recordings and edited works that explore the experience of being in an unfamiliar place through the sounds found in them. I’ve enjoyed listening in stillness to many of the offerings, but the narrated Annapurna: Memories in Sound has been the most enjoyable, being an audio journey that leaves the listeners completely immersed in the experience. These recordings make me thankful I have high quality headphones.

Romance is a hand-joined walk along a stone wall, teetering between the shoreline and the sidewalk and beneath blurring stars.

Romance is an afternoon by a river eating dried apple slices and creating stories for the trees on the opposite bank.
Romance is awkward dancing before the end of the world, falling to the grass and laughing at the fullness of life.
Romance is fallen tears on a bed of leaves, sparks from a campfire and four lives interwoven beneath a starless night sky.
Romance is vanilla on our tongues, summer shade on our bodies and wind licking our limbs.
Romance is ever-walking through starlight with the ones you love, hands held and eyes soft-lit by Vulpecula and Lyra.
Romance is a stolen moment on a couch, with sugary tongues and reaching fingers, drinking flavours of all the world’s real lovers.
Romance is a night on a frozen lake, letting the ice melt beneath us and counting reflected glimmers cast down by moon and stars.
Romance is floating in the cool, white-flickering lake, hands joined and devotion sworn; now a union of lovers illuminated by the moon’s direct care.
Romance is sipping lemon tea alone in an old red armchair while remembering blissful moments forever passed; it’s the untarnished love for lost spirits and hope for eternities with dear souls.
Romance is standing on the shoreline in the gentle force of a warm breeze; it’s skipping paired stones out into the reflected constellations.
Romance is mapping out soft landscapes of dream sands and crumbled heart-walls.
Romance is rain-soaked lovers warming with damp touches and spiced tongues, smudging napkin poetry.

Here is a list of some of my current goals, via 43 Things.

via 43 Things

War corrupts people terribly. One fine example of this can be found in the article “War Pornography,” which exposes the reality that a large number of “US soldiers trade grisly photos of dead and mutilated Iraqis for access to amateur porn” at a website that counts 1/3 of its clients as soldiers. Whatever your stance on war, – and you know mine is strongly opposed to it – I hope you’d agree that reveling in death, mutilation and other aspects of war is a disgusting symptom of deep mental sickness. We must wonder how widely this has spread among those occupying Iraq and the impact it will have when they return to an already damaged America.

It’s another languid night here at the the hotel. Earlier in the evening I spent some time at my friends Nathan and Rob’s place, hanging with Enfielders and friends. Andrew and Allison had just arrived back from Texas, where they had been living for some time, this week, and there was a bit of a celebration for that. I had to work, but I had a nice time hanging out with that crew before coming here.

I’ve been doing a fair bit of reading during the past couple weeks, indulging my bookworm tendencies more than I have in a long while. I want to give mention to a few of the books I believe are worthy of sharing.
Yane Yolen’s Briar Rose is an expert reinvention of the traditional fairytale as a mystery laced with a love story centered on the holocaust. Yolen is best known for her fantasy works, but this novel stays in the realm of mainstream, realistic fiction and the story benefits from this. This work also shows Yolen’s skill at adapting traditional stories to modern times. Briar Rose is a fine exploration of storytelling, family dynamics and a piece of history that can be too disturbing for many outside the softening of fiction. It’s slight fantasy that gives life to the broader genre with its deft and accessable dealings with a number of seldom matched themes.
I’ve enjoyed reading the books of Haruki Murakami for some time now, first Norwegian Wood and most recently Dance, Dance, Dance. Dance, Dance, Dance is a mystery novel set within a supernatural-meets-reality world (Japan and Hawaii are the real world locales) the nameless protagonist explores in a very human way. The very recognizable and fragile nature of the characters is Murakami’s strength, creating a great deal of sympathy and interest in their stories and contrasting the strange situations portrayed throughout the narrative. Combining appropriate elements of fantasy, noir and mystery, – as well as critique of “advanced capitalism” – the novel surprises, moves and engrosses at every turn. It’s one of the finest works of fiction I’ve read all year.
I’ve been reading a fair bit of Ken Wilber’s writings of late. There’s a wealth of wisdom and facinating theory he’s presented and I could never do it justice. I do want to mention The Marriage of Sense and Soul : Integrating Science and Religion, an incredible book that explores the split between science and spirituality and presents a compelling path to resolve the issue. In my gross, inadequate summary, Wilber advises that we should submit spiritual experience to varification (though repeatable practices such as meditation), setting aside myths and other religious trappings, in order to bring science and spirituality into the harmony they should co-inhabit. He does a fine job of explaining integral theory in regards to the three value spheres of the beautiful (art), the good (morals) and the true (truth) and how to maintain a holism that differentiates without dissociating. As I said, I can’t do justice to his work, but I must say he’s left a lasting, positive impression on my own philosophical exploration and I believe he has a balance of sound theory, accessable writing (he’s damn funny, though more so in his spoken words) and timely subjects (we are living in a world where regressive religion and limited science often battle it out, leaving the evolutionary changes Wilber proposes more vital each day) that make him an important visionary of our times and his books as important as any others being printed today.

P.S. I’d also recommend A Brief History of Everything and Kosmic Consciousness, the latter being an excellent audio interview that showcases Wilber’s humour and excellent, clear explainations of his integral theory, a map of everything.

I’m at work, fending off encroaching sleep. I have lines from House of Leaves running through my mind.

I feel compelled to reread that novel once more this autumn, and I’m hoping my sister will return it in time. If there’s one book that’s haunting and fitting for this season, that’s the one.

Now, to kill some time, I’ll answer some questions that Gaby answered in her blog. Yes, it’s that tedious here at the hotel.

1.What were the last four things you bought? An iron, a messenger bag, soy milk and a chocolate bar.
2.What are four things you regularly drink? Tea, coffee, fruit juices and vanilla cola.
3.What was the last time you cried? A couple months ago.
4.What’s in your CD player? I believe I have Poe’s Hello in my stereo at home, but the last album I listened to was KMFDM’s Symbols.
5. What’s under your bed? Floor, because I don’t use a bed frame.
6. What time did you wake up this morning? I didn’t wake up this morning; I went to sleep around 9am and awoke at 4pm.
7. Current hair? Tired (that was an honest and very descriptive typo) tied back in my work mode.
8. What are you wearing? My work suit.
9. Current worry? Securing a place to live on November 1st.
10. Current love? I’m giving in to universal love until some romance comes along to become a focus.
11. Current hate? I don’t tend to be hating right now, but I’m never fond of all the conservative politics I hear of daily.
12. Favorite place to be? Parrsboro
13. Favorite ice cream? Cotton candy.
14. If you could play an instrument what would you play? Guitar, cello or violin.
15. Favorite colours? Blue.
16. How tall are you? Around 6′
17. Favorite expression? I’ve been using “excellent” too often lately, but I can’t say it’s a favourite. I’ll have to pass on answering this one because nothing’s coming to mind.
18. One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to? I think I’d like to talk to my grandmother, who passed away when I was 12. We were very close and I’ve wondered from time to time what she’d think of all that’s happened in my life.
19. One person from your past you wish you could be with right now? Honestly, I’d be happy to spend time with anyone I’ve truly cared about.
20. Favorite Day(s)? Days I’m free of work, especially if I am seeing live music.
21. Where would you like to go? These 12 places, for a start.
22. Where do you want to live? I’d love to live as a nomad and explore the world, but until that’s possible, I’m content to stay here.
23. Favorite food? I love food in general. Chinese foods were long my favourites, but now I find I like a wide range of cultural foods.
24. Number from 1 – 100? 3.
25. Number of pillows you sleep with? Two.
26. What do you wear when you go to sleep? Nothing.
27. Do you like crossword puzzles? I don’t often do them, but they aren’t that bad.
28. Who do you think of most? I think of all my friends often.
29. What do you think you’ll be doing in 10 years? I don’t know, and I find that surprisingly comfortable. Mystery spawns wonder, afterall.
30. Are you paranoid? Nah.
31. Do you prefer clubs or bars? I enjoy either as long as there is good live music.
32. First piercing/tattoo? I’ve not had one yet.
33. Who was your first love? Sincere, romantic love? Ashley.
34. Last person you yelled at? I can’t recall.
35. Last/current crush? As odd as it may sound, a girl juggling on the Dalhousie University campus. There’s something about juggling that interests me.
36. Last thing you ate? A carrot muffin.
37. If you could be a pirate, would you? Not in the violent, harmful sense, but piratespeak and sea life could be loads of fun.
38. Last time you had sex? July.

Welcome to autumn, friends. I thought I’d better make an entry on this most glorious of transitory days to make up for my neglect. Life’s been going well, though a bit busy and not always condusive for writing. I’ll be making an effort to scrawl on by more often now that I’m in an inspiring atmosphere.

Glorious, holy Autumn has arrived today! The air is cooling, the leaves have begun to turn and all the city seems more attuned to campfire magic. This season always enchants me; there’s no other time that I feel so completely comfortable to be spending days just walking beneath this city’s many trees; no other season can leave me so inspired and romantically inclined. The landscape is becoming more beautiful and every fiber of my being is lightened by the taste of the air. I feel compelled to be making love amid fallen leaves; but, alas, I’ve no autumn lover.

Last night I saw the ever-marvelous Buck 65 perform at The Marquee with Nathan, Ilea and Greg. It was a night to remember, and not just because it contained banter between Nathan and Greg, having my living room become home to three people for the night and a rather wicked veggie pizza.
Jill Barber, a local singer-songwriter I enjoy quite a lot, was the opener, which was a very pleasant surprised. I’ve become familiar with her work and it grows on me with every listen. She’s excellent live, and if you’re into jazzy, folky, poppy singer-songwriter tunes, her album may be something to enrich your autumn nights.
Buck 65 was his usual astounding self. This time he brought along his fiance Claire to sing on some of his new material, and she was captivating. “Drawing Curtains” was one of the sexiest performances I’ve ever seen, in no small part because of her francophone additions and ‘Le 65ism” was stellar, with the duo’s chants of “Sex, Cinema, Politique” lighting our ears on fire. Buck through in some older tunes, with “463,” “Pants on Fire” and “Bachelor of Science” being crowd pleasers. I’ve seen hum countless times, but he never fails to deliver an entertaining and thrilling live show. This one, though, may be his finest non-band performance to date; he didn’t have the Savant Garde, his usual backing band, but his pre-recorded instrumentals, scratching and the addition of Claire’s vocals made for a very engaging show.

Today, after doing some chores around my apartment, I met Wanda and her fellow, Mark, a block from here. We headed downtown and zagged from shop to shop. Having had two rings break in the last year, I decided to take a chance on the third time being a charm and bought a new hematite ring when we visited Little Mysteries and Wanda decided to get one for herself. It was nice to see Wanda again, even for a short while. I very much miss the times when Wanda, April and I would spend days hanging out in this city.

What else is new? Oh yes, I have a new messenger bag. My old bag reached the end of its life, so I invested in a new bag to carry all my nomadic needs. There’s a surprizing amount of comfort in knowing I can have all I need with me easily. It’s also an ever-present reminder that I have far more than I need or truly use, so I’m hoping it will spur me on toward greater minimalism.

Today I came across What Should I Read Next, a rather cool tool for bookworms like myself.

I gave it a try and entered a few of my favourite books. The suggestions seem accurate enough, so I’ll likely use it as a source of inspiration before I visit the library next.

Today I received Rockets Burst from the Streetlamps’ Departed collection. I’ve liked the band for a time, with them ranking as my favourite departed post-rock, spacerock, shoegaze bands to come out of Boston. The album and accompanying EP are solid, though an acquired taste. The “I strongly encourage you all to take a look at the elephant snout coming out of the ceiling up there, it’s very exciting” opening to “Parks and Gardens” still elicts a chuckle from me.

I’ll leave you with a link to 12 Sided Calendar, a very cool, very simple project to have sitting on your desk.

Word is that a hurricane is headed for Nova Scotia, though it may be a tropical storm when it arrives. It should still make for an interesting weekend, none the less, one I’ll be working each night of. I remember the last hurricane that hit Halifax quite well. It was an unforgetable experience and I’d rather not have to endure those same trials. What will be will be, though, so don’t be surprised if I leave you hanging for a day or more.

Wednesday I met with my sister Ilea and friend Nathan on the Dalhousie University campus. I studied there for two years and decided to spend some time wandering around reminiscing about a mostly uneventful and low point in my life. Oh, but the sights were not unpleasant. A girl juggling on one lawn in particular caught my eye. While waiting for Nathan and Ilea I read a book and observed her awkward, but improving, attempts. If there’s anything I miss about my time in university, it’s the diversity of people, and the resulting moments of observation like that.
Once I met up with Nathan and Ilea, who, unknown to me, are in the same history class, we all headed downtown to purchase tickets to the most exciting concert experience of the autumn. Yes, the astounding Buck 65 will be performing next Wednesday and our group of four (Ilea’s fiance Greg will be coming along) will be attending. I’ve seen Buck 65 many times, and each time it’s a wonderful time. I can’t wait to hear his new material live because it’s a distinct change from his previous work.
Ilea and I also went book shopping to find a present for our mother’s birthday, which is coming up on the 23rd. We ended up getting her a book detailing some of the history of the city of Sydney, Nova Scotia, near which she grew up. She holds a great deal of nostalgia for the place she grew up and it’s always nice to be able to find a thoughtful gift that can correspond with that. I haven’t been to that part of the province in a long time myself, but I do feel I should explore it again before long; there are both facinating and disheartening aspects of Cape Breton (the disheartening part being the poverty that has been inflicted upon the region), but overall I find it a beautiful place.

I find myself neglecting the very things I promised myself I’d strive not to. Cleaning out my excess possessions has been put off with the excuse of change. That’s an easy way to become trapped in a cycle of inaction. It may not be an immense change, but one I know will be a weight lifted, freeing in a very noticable way. The less I have, the more I am. That may be true or it may not, but it’s the path I’ve chosen. If it can’t join me when I dance the world it’ll have to leave me. Love, communication, art and some necessities are what enrich me; the rest loses meaning constantly.

Dried petals are coarse on my fingers. I feel the future is beautifully uncertain, yet I’ve a sense that the change I’ll face will be positive.

I’m listening to The Dears‘ No Cities Left, drinking some chilled vanilla cola and snacking on some maple-coated cashews. Life’s pretty damn good at the moment; I’ve not a single complaint. The album’s fucking amazing, so seek it out if you haven’t yet. I’m in love with Montreal, by the way, and think we should run off together. Or, rather, I should run off to that city and relearn French.

There’s little enough to report from my life. Work has been going well, except for some toubles we’ve had negotiating the systems. I find myself enjoying it more and more, even though I need to improve some of my customer service polish. I doubt I’ll ever become a true extrovert, but I’m working on it.

Today I spent a while downtown so that I could visit the library and a couple shops to treat myself to some new reading material. I’ve been voracious in my reading lately, so I hoped to find something to peak my interest. I came home with Lovecraft, a graphic novel imagining the author as actually haunted all his life by the monsters of his stories, an issue of Matrix, a magazine of art, essays, fiction, photography, poetry and, in this issue, comics, and, most excitingly, a printed copy of A Softer World, one of my all time favourite comic works. A Softer World is, at times, delightfully bizarre, beautiful and irreverent. In the beautiful category is “Yes I Am a Dreamer,” which I took a panel from to include with this entry.

Tonight I was lucky enough to be able to watch The Girl in the Café, a love story interwoven with the political struggle to end poverty. The balance between those two elements was incredibly well struck, with the film never succumbing to the stuffiness of politics or the triteness of most love stories. It drove home the message of compassion for those suffering from poverty well even though it showed only the reaction to the suffering and not the suffering itself. We have the means to end great suffering and many of us have the will to work for that, but too often selfishness and apathy stands in the way. This film gently draws in the audience and exposes this great tragedy of inaction so powerfully, yet still within a completely entertaining story. For this the filmmakers deserve much credit.