Conjure One‘s first album is one of my favourites of recent years and I’ve been following the progress of his (he being Rhys Fulber, also of Front Line Assembly and Delerium) second release, Extraordinary Ways. I’m also a huge fan of Poe, who sang on two of the tracks of that disc and has a remarkable career of her own. Of course I’m thrilled to discover that four tracks from the new disc are up for our listening pleasure at the Conjure One My Space page. The title track and two others not included in the samples are done by Poe and of these four I’m enjoying “Extraordinary Ways” most. How can a minimalist like myself not grin and nod to lyrics like “What I have is nothing to my name, no property to speak of and no trophy for my game, intangible, worthless, my assets on the page, my coffers are empty, any offer of safety has faded away”? It’s a beautiful love song, at its core.  Now I wait and expect my ears will be blissful in late August.

If you’ve been reading my journal for a while you may recall when I wrote about the Jizos for Peace project. Today Gail Ruff, the project manager left a comment on that entry.

Go take a look at their site if you have a chance. It’s a wonderful project and could certainly use your support.

It’s damn hot here in Nova Scotia. My friend Mark summed it up nicely.

Yeah, it’s unseasonably warm here. I’ve been indoors sleeping or at work for most of the day so I’m not melted or burned to a crisp, thankfully. 40+ C with humidity would be a bit unpleasant to be out in unless one happens to be swimming; people are accordingly flocking to the beach by this hotel.

I favour immigration in general, and especially for my home province. While Nova Scotia (and Canada as a whole) is fairly culturally diverse, there’s still a wealth of cultural and economic improvement to be gained from the infusion of newcomers. Here we’re still predominantly European in heritage, especially in rural areas, and while there’s a good deal of tolerance even so, this homogenization is a great weakness in our ability to adapt and understand the rest of the world. Andrew of The Super Nova Scotian made mention of the immigration deficiency in “Myth Busting 101.” An immigrant himself, he makes some compelling points and links to an article detailing how necessary immigration is for our wellbeing. I’d certainly like to see our diversity amplified and hope our governments take the initiative to open immigration.

Life’s been flowing on pleasantly for me lately. I’m feeling comfortable with just about every aspect of my life at the moment and that’s always nice. Of course there are things I’m working to change and challenges approaching, but I’ve nothing to complain about in my small sphere. It’s time to move ahead with some shaded plotting.

Thursday I enjoyed a day of walking, as I often like to do on my days off. I went for a nice stroll along the waterfront; I took in the touristy sights and enjoyed the salt breeze. I’ve been trying to think of places and events that Susana might enjoy when she visits and that’s one place we’ll likely go. It’s so typical of Nova Scotia’s tourist draws, though. This province is marketed (perhaps rightly so) as a sea-going land, but it’s definitely richer culturally and geographically (though I’ll admit my favourite place in all of Canada is the fossil and stone-rich coast near Parrsboro).

I next visited the library for some bookwormish delight and was not let down. I’m thrilled that libraries here are now stocking the shelves with some great graphic novels; I found Locus: A Love & Rockets Book and am looking forward to finally reading those stories after years of wanting to. I also borrowed Charles de Lint‘s A Handful of Coppers, a collection of his early work that I was likewise glad to find. Love libraries; they’re one of the finest universal social structures we have.

It seems that evening was prom night for some high school students. They were filling the public gardens in their finery and taking photos so I detoured to the adjacent cemetery rather than walk through that. I don’t know if I could choose one over the other; The gardens are beautiful, but the cemetery is incredibly peaceful and beautiful in its own right. I often notice interesting tokens left by people to honor their loved ones. In May I noticed that someone had left a jar of candies by one marker and I imagined it was left by a child for his or her kindly grandfather, who, when in health, had always kept candies of that type for the child when he or she visited. Those very personal touches are always heartwarming to me.

That evening I had two delicious new foods. I tried out popsicles made with real strawberries (it was warm out and I needed to cool down) and now I fear I’m hooked on those. Damn my sweet tooth for being my greatest weakness. I also made some vegetable samosas and liked them quite a lot. My switch to being a vegetarian (I’m now in my third month) has at the very least pushed me to try some wonderful new foods.

I’ve been a Linux fan for a couple years now, but my new laptop was having some trouble running the distros that I had used before (hardware recognition was the issue). I was quite pleased when I tried out Ubuntu, a version of Linux “for human beings,” and had everything work immediately.

So far I’m liking the setup very much, with only a few minor complaints. I certainly appreciate the approach used to make the OS and the strong community of support it has. If you’re looking to give Linux a try I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend this one. It’s a great transitionary OS for those of us who’d like to be rid of Windows.

Thunder and lightning are crashing in the sky above me so I suppose it would be wise to post this wandering mess.

The internet has opened the door for an exciting change in how creators of all sorts interact with audiences; with very little cost we can distribute whatever our imaginations and reason can concoct. With this freedom we are also given a tremendous opportunity to benefit society by sharing our work in ways that give users greater freedom of their own and enrich nearly every aspect of society. We stand at the precipice of an evolution of intellectual and cultural interaction that will be fuelled by rethinking how, why and for whom we create. We have the chance to place greater responsibility and reward in the hands of common people, to retake cultural commonism.
Copyright reform is important to moving forward as a global community. As I wrote recently, we all benefit from access to ideas and culture. All the good that we’ve accomplished as a species has come about through sharing and distributing ideas and creative work. Who wasn’t thrilled by an ageless fairytale as a child or had their tastebuds treated to a culinary delight passed down through the years? These and other, more practical, creations are wonderfully enriching to our lives and are important contributions to our collective cultural wealth.
Today, abusively long copyrights (and lengthy patents) endanger the good that sharing can bring us all. Large companies continuously lobby for extensions of copyrights in order to continue reaping profits from the work of creators who are no longer living. I wouldn’t dispute the right of any artist or inventor to make a reasonable living from what they create, but i don’t believe there is any good gained by giving corporations the ability to control media and ideas for decades or (as in some proposals) nearly a century. Culture evolves through innovation, which always builds on previous innovation. If we keep building blocks from those who wish to create we limit personal and societal growth in a very negative way.
We need to push our governments to limit patent and copyright lengths in order to ensure we have a rich, free and growing culture base, but more importantly creators need to explore innovative ways to share their works. Proactive flexibility by creators to make their work accessable to others can increase their audience and the impact of their work substantially. Through inviting distribution and voluntary sharing of their works as building blocks a creator can make a living, form a legacy and benefit society.
Creative Commons offers a widely used (and easy) means for authors and artists to copyright their works with some (rather than all) rights reserved. For instance, a photographer may allow his wildlife photos to be freely used for educational and non-profit purposes but maintain the right to authorize for-profit use of his work. This provides both protection for artists and a benefit for us all, making it a wonderful alternative to traditional copyrights.
One person who comes to mind as actively using Creative Commons licenses in his career is Cory Doctorow. Cory Doctorow is a speculative fiction writer (he has won a Locus Award and was nominated for a Nebula Award) who has released all his books for free download under a Creative Commons license.

Cory is published by Tor and has produced critically acclaimed and commercially viable work while making his writings available to a wider audience. Most notable for me is his use of a Developing Nations License, which allows anyone in a developing nation to publish or otherwise distribute his newest book, Someone Comes to Town, Someone Leaves Town, an obvious asset culturally and financially for those struggling to find strong footing in the world.
A truly exciting development that the internet facilitates is the ability to build collaborative projects that anyone can contribute to, especially when applying a copylefting mentality. Copylefting, in the form of the open source movement, has already emerged as a vital and pervasive aspect of the software we all use. From Linux, a free, open source operating system that has been embraced by businesses and individuals alike for many computing needs (this website and the vast majority of those you visit run on it, for example) to Firefox, easily the best web browser across the major platforms, the practical benefits of community-built, rather than business-built, software are apparent; we can produce more innovative thought and have access to more resources when we work as dynamic communities.
The realm of the arts also is starting to embrace this approach in new ways. Movements such as Free Culture encourage artists to produce, share, enjoy and build upon art created by participants.

The resulting multimedia and evolving single forms this offers us are a return to a more organic way of making art; oral storytelling, the precursor to all our narritive works, was at its core collaborative and evolutionary and that is something often missing from the one-way and fixed content media we are used to.
No, it doesn’t end there. World Changing ran an article on “open fabrication,” an implementation of Do-It-Yourself craft work and collaborative physical design projects. The site iFabricate that is linked to in the article seems, to an outsider, like a wonderful derivitive of the open source movement that allows us to make unique items for ourselves or collaboratively create marketable products.
It’s obvious to me that this movement toward shared intellectual and cultural wealth has to potential to change every field and every part of our lives. It’s an exciting prospect but also one that could be derailed if we don’t take the opportunities we have to contribute and benefit from it. As for myself, I’ll contribute what I can and proudly proclaim my support for what Bill Gates calls a new communism (I even have a really classy t-shirt and hoodie pair from the fine folks at Giant Robot).

With the recent changes in my life (this includes an exciting new relationship and a pending change in jobs) I’ve been reevaluating my goals and looking at how well my approach to them has been working. I’m disappointed with how easily I’ve been distracted from accomplishing what I’d like to, especially in preparing for my writing project.
I’ve already pushed my self-imposed deadline to have a working outline and other preparation in place ahead over a month. I’ve needed that time to dream up some more elements of the story, but I’m concerned that putting off getting down to writing will derail the process significantly. I’m itching to write but know I need to develop some structure first.
In contrast to my feeling of stagnation, during the past week I’ve found myself deeply inspired to write and craft my stories by a number of factors. I’ve been rereading some old stories (a lot of fairytales) and reading some new ones (some work by Jo Clayton, David Lapham and Neil Gaiman) for the first time. I feel the fresh spark of questions that drives my speculating and creating. I’ve also been exposed to some really innovaitve publishing ideas, from the Developing Nations license created by Creaive Commons to some very appealing self-publishing tools I’ve found. Of course, some shifting in my life has me rearranging story elements and fitting the new experiences into the pool of learning I have to draw from.
I’ve also neglected simplifying my life. For a long while I’ve half-jokingly said I want to be able to fit everything I own into the trunk of a car. I’m quite close with everything except for clothes and a box of books. I haven’t changed how I am physically in many years, so I still have clothing I’ve been wearing for five, six or more years. In fact, I’m wearing a pair of jeans now that I’ve had for five years and they’re some of the most comfortable pants I’ve ever owned. However, I do need to clean out some excess clothes and give those away. As for the books, those will be making their way to Ebay or into the hands of some of my friends before long.
I hope that keeping these goals in mind and continuously evaluating my methods will help me keep on track with them. I know that keeping a list (see the sidebar item) has helped to keep those aims seldom far from my thoughts, even when I’m straying.

Susana will be visiting here from June 28 until July 18 and has booked her tickets. I’m very excited to be able to spend time with her and show her some of the things I love about this city. Everything’s still very fresh with Susana and I, but it’s also been familiar and comfortable in a lot of ways; we have quite a lot in common and haven’t had any conflict so far. It’s surreal to me how everything has happened in the past month but it’s left me feeling better than I have in a long while and very optimistic about the future.

Did you know that TV doesn’t love you? It’s true and Preshrunk, the great t-shirt blog, has shared a post and a t-shirt, “TV Doesn’t Love U,” that says it nice and clear.

So let TV down easy and move on. I did and I’m better off for it.

I’m a sucker for fairytales; ever since I was young I’ve been facinated by them and now I appreciate their worth even more as part of our collective cultural wealth. SurLaLune Fairy Tales is one of my favourite places to find information about the form and to find fine examples of fairytales. One section I came upon tonight is an online reprinting of Canadian Wonder Stories by Cyrus MacMillan. Corrected by the author as he served at Vimy Ridge, it’s a nice selection of native folk stories from here in Canada. From Atlantic Canada (my region) comes “The First Mosquito,” which features the god Glooskap. Those of us who have lived in the sticks can appreciate the sentiment that the mosquito was originally a evil sorceress who became so when she said, “I wish that I might change to something that would always be a plague and a torment to man, for I hate mankind.”

If all goes as planned Susana will be visiting here for a few weeks in July. I’m completely thrilled at that prospect; I’ve been smiling a lot since she told me she would visit. I’m sure those passing me today as I went to buy groceries thought I was mad because of the grin that kept creeping onto my face. What can I say? I’m quite smitten. I’ll admit to being worried too, though; things have been going wonderfully so far and it would be a shame for that to end.

One of my favourite webcomics is A Softer World, a weekly jaunt into photographic weirdness that can be touching but is usually irreverent. I went looking in the archives last night for my favourite strip so that I could share it. “Yes, I believe in love, yes, I’m a dreamer. But I’m not alone, there are more of us than you suspect, and we’ve got bombs, truth and beauty bombs.” Now that’s magic. Where can I find some of those truth and beauty bombs?

Also in the world of webcomics, I found a new one that breaks out of the typical webcomic mold. Owen, the creation of Paris Raupach, tells the story of a Hippo that survived the tsunami of December 2004. It’s based on a true story and features a fresh art style that I’m looking forward to more of. It’s certainly worth the short time to read the opening segment, so go read.

I’ve given you reflections, love and comics. Be content. Good night.

Sometimes it’s important to destroy our own mythologies, to deconstruct our memories and beliefs and reforge ourselves. There’s always a time in our lives when we have need of stepping into the role of a phoenix and living through the metaphorical death of personal evolution; the eternal myths of rebirth speak this truth. Change is constant and sometimes it needs to be an immolation.

While I’ve been on the dancing, turning path of change for as long as I can remember, the event that pushed me into great change was a departure. One month less than two years ago a visit by my lover of that time, Ashley, was coming to an end. She’d spent several weeks with me and we’d had a very pleasant time together. Before leaving the airport I bought a book by the Dalai Lama, largely on a whim, that set in motion my interest in a new spiritual path.
In the following weeks I would miss Ashley terribly and build momentum in change. I had been studying computer science here in Halifax for two years but hadn’t developed any passion for what I was learning; my final term had left me sapped and terribly depressed with that aspect of my life. Somehow, reading the Dalai Lama’s book had firmed my resolve to take some time away from formal studying at university and to work on finding a direction for my life. Most likely it was the ever-present wish I have to help others well that was tapped into; I knew I wasn’t living in a way I could feel actively compassionate to either myself or others.
So in September I returned from staying with my parents to my apartment in Halifax, ready to turn over a new leaf. I’d started learning about Taoism before the move and was struggling to incorporate its teachings and a meditation practice into my life. I was opening up very slowly to the spirtual aspects of life in a way I never had before, not even when I had a child’s faith in Christianity during my youth.
Outside this spiritual growth things became bleak, however, with the first sign being a mighty blow from nature. The end of September brought a hurricane that battered Nova Scotia and left me without electricity into October. It was a harbinger of the destruction my life would be crawling through for months to come. I didn’t realize this at the time, oh no, I was deep in delusion.
For much of the year following I struggled to find work and watched both my relationship with Ashley and her health deteriorate.
Soon after she returned home, Ashley’s parents expressed disapproval of our relationship, which amplified the difficulties our long-distance relationship held. Ashley also descended into an eating disorder that would alter who she was drastically and plagues her even to this day, threatening her life. Before I knew it our romance had ended in a dramatic, horrible mess that left me feeling deeply worried for her, heartrendingly betrayed and, coupled with my lack of work, utterly devistated; I was lower than I had ever been before. This was my death.

The archetype of the saviour has always facinated me. Growing up with Christian teachings I had an unalterable respect for Jesus and his fundamental message of universal love; however, the religions that claimed to follow him seemed largely false and not in accordance with that core so I knew they were not for me. Through studying storycraft, spirituality, history and sociology I’ve thought a lot about the role of saviours, their motivations and the good and harm that can come about by their actions.
The ending of my low, the impetus for healing and rebirth, was incorporating Buddhism into my spirituality. There were many aspects of it that helped to transform me, but none so vital as the goal and means to end suffering in oneself and others. Buddha was a saviour portrayed in the way I had always believed was Jesus’ true form; he gave us the ability to transform ourselves and cultivate love in ourselves. The true purpose of a saviour to me was never to inspire worship but rather to create saviours in each person, to inspire a universal compassion.
So at last I was ready to start to rid myself of the suffering I had been living with for so many months (for how could I help others if I let myself decline?). Buddhism taught me to recognize desire as the root of this torment I was going through. I desired to be with someone I couldn’t and shouldn’t be with. I longed for the respect and ease that working again would bring. I surely desired other things too and all of this was crippling me. As I loosened the hold of desire over me things improved; my spirit was lighter, I was able to find work again and I became better able to help those around me.

In the months since I’ve been building a life I can be content living. I’m living more and more simply, more and more holistically, and it’s been enriching in every respect. I feel love more purely than I could even conceive two years ago; I’ve mended and grown in ways I wouldn’t have expected and I’m ever-thankful for that. I’m more whole than I’ve ever been and I feel strongly I wouldn’t be if I had not fallen low and broken, if I hadn’t burned.

Last night I told Ashley about my budding relationship with Susana. In the past few months Ashley and I have tried to maintain a friendship as best we could with her difficulties and I wanted to share this with her. Despite my constant insistance that my feelings for her were as a friend, I discovered that Ashley had held an obession and desire to be with me again; that had no doubt fueled her troubles with her disease. She tells me knowing I’ve moved on has helped her bring closure to her own longing. I hope she’ll take the steps she needs to heal and live her own phoenix chapter.

Along one wall of the hotel where I am working there is a tall row of lilac trees. Each hour as I walk past them on a round I’m overwhelmed by the aroma they give off and struck by the beauty that so strongly contrasts the crumbling motel structure. The scent of lilacs has ties to a lot of pleasant memories for me and that’s combining with a sense of hope and fresh wishing each time I walk through the lilac airs.
It has been over five months since I was last outside this city (blame it on the fact I’m a hardworking pedestrian cityfellow). I do love it here in Halifax, but I miss the unobscured night skies and the expanses of trees and farmland of rural Nova Scotia. I wish to walk in the stillness the woods and drink in the heady smell of pine, maple, spruce and birch.
It’s been years since I last went camping and right now I wish to be spending a night beneath the stars. I would love to be within the orange glow of a campfire in Paraboro and piecing together constellations; you simply can not do that with a sky holding only a handful of stars. I’d anticipate a day walking along the enchanting beaches there in Parsboro, with the cliffs of change and age. There’s no other place I’ve been that carries the mysteries of time and transformation so subtly and pervasively, not the Rockies, Niagra Falls nor California’s redwood forests; the precious stones and fossils whisper from the rock of divinity.
As I’ve entered into a life of practice, cultivating the ability to live as art and love, I find a growing appreciation for beauty. I think that’s one of the more marvelous aspects of mindfulness, the awareness of the beauty of all we experience. It brings together two aspects of who I am in harmony; the realist and the romantic are one and the same. I revel in the lilacs as they are now; though I know they are fleeting I don’t hold on to what is passing.
What challenges me most is when romance leaves the realm of appreciation for beauty in everything to foster a romantic love for all the beauty of a person. As I find myself becoming enamored with a woman who possesses many traits I hold to be beautiful, I’m filled with ever-dangerous hope and longing. It’s harder now to remain mindful and not be set up for heartache.
While the beauty of the world is an ever-present wind, the beauty of romantic love can be more like a seed on that wind that slips into our backs and takes root in our hearts. Growing outward, the roots pervade us, sliding through our veins. There’s nothing more blissful than sharing that growth; there’s nothing more devastating than having those roots ripped out.
Expectation and attachment are harmful, so I’m doing my best to cultivate mindfulness. i’ll enjoy this scent of lilacs as long as I am able to with all my heart but not grow expectant. I’ll revel with care and remember that, while the flowers are wonderful, the true promise of lilac trees lies in the lifetimes they last.

What a neglectful writer I’ve been. I could blame it on the training session I had to do for my new job and the extra sleep I needed because of that, or some much more pleasant distractions, but I’ll take the fall.

So, what has been happening in my life? Aside from braving the world with a miniscule amount of sleep on Tuesday and recouping sleep the following day, things have been pleasant. I’ve fallen quickly into a marvelously synchronous friendship with Susana that has left me surprised with all we have in common and quite excited by the possibilities that might come with it. It’s been very refreshing getting to know her and at the very least I’ve made a good friend.

Allison‘s Neo-Nerds.net has gone live. It’s still being developed, but you can go take a look. You’ll notice I’m listed as one of the five options under “Choose your nerd” but my profile isn’t ready there yet. Nathan, a.k.a. Dead Smurf, is my friend and former roommate; Andrew is my friend and sometimes gaming buddy who is currently in far-off Texas; Allison is Andrew’s wife of not all that long and I don’t think I have met her in person; I don’t know anything at all about Kristin. I suppose I should soon cook up some content of the nerdy variety.

I’ve fallen in love with Romantica, a band that makes some fine, ecclectic alt-folk music. I found their song “Mexico” on an MP3 blog and was immediately hooked; it’s a sad, longing song that moved me quite a lot. You can download three songs by the band (including “Mexico” and another song I’m fond of, “Honey”) at their Download.com page. I’ve ordered their album and will let you all know what I think of it once it arrives.

I picked up the new release from Matt Mays and El Torpedo this week because I’ve been really digging its first single, “Cocaine Cowgirl” (click the link to view the video) and likewise loved “City of the Lakes” (click the link for the video, which has some local scenery) from their last release. The band’s injecting some freshness into vintage highway rock and roll with dazzling results. The band is from here in Nova Scotia (Dartmouth-Halifax), but I’ve never had a chance to see them play live. I’m hoping that will change soon, though, because I’m caught up in this new album in a way I didn’t anticipate. Remember when Halifax was to be the new Seattle? This is one of those bands that proves that optimism was just premature, not wrong.

It’s no secret I favour copyright reform (i.e. limiting the length of copyrights, encouraging people to use more accessable licenses), so I was pleased to see author Max Barry calling for similar rules. I disagree with some of Max’s positions, but he’s a damn good writer and is dead on here.

Read “Writers for Less Money” to glimpse more of Mr. Barry’s thoughts on copyrights. Yes, many creators want reforms to help increase our creative options. No good comes from limiting our cultural heritage in the way media companies are pushing for now. Hasn’t the world benefitted from Shakespeare’s work being in the public domain? Are the Beatles any less a part of the creative wealth we should share freely and explore however we can? In a couple decades shouldn’t Batman be as Robin Hood and seen as a brilliant, universal archetype?

You’d think this was Apollo’s Tea and Coffee Report from my constant mention of those two glorious drinks. I suppose I’ll indulge in one more forray into that realm before giving it all a rest.
Neil Gaiman has been writing on the topic of tea lately and in his last journal entry he linked to a BBC article on proper tea preparation titled, oddly enough, “.” I certainly am an improper tea maker. My method usually doesn’t involve pre-warming the pot or doing most steps in the suggested order. I’ll give this suggested process a try in the coming days, though.

Now for something not related to tea or coffee whatsoever (Unless you’re counting strips like Too Much Coffee Man). Scott McCloud, author of Reinventing Comics, wrote an excellent comic in 2001 that explores the increasing importance that micropayments will play in the future of art (especially music and comics) and related fields as our world embraces digital experiences more and more. “Coins of the Realm Pt. 2” explores the problems and opportunities that online art distribution holds. I especially appreciated that he pointed out how many people can’t afford access to the quantity and quality of art we would like because of the presense of middlemen and unnecessary cost between us and artists. Piracy is not always (or even mostly) done because people wish to steal or don’t value art, but because of the exact opposite; those of us who truly love art wish to experience it, even when we don’t have the resources to purchase it at the inflated prices of intermediaries and don’t see an appropriate amount of the money we spend going to artists. I certainly hope more artists find ways to deliver their creations more directly to us while increasing their ability to make a living doing the vital work they do.

If you’re ever bored and want to look at some interesting new websites, I’d recommend trying StumbleUpon, a great tool that takes you to sites recommended by other users. Through it I came upon Scott McCloud’s site and several other sites I’ve enjoyed tonight. If you’re using Firefox (and if you aren’t, you really, really should!) you can find the StumbleUpon plugin here. Thanks to Susana for sharing this with me.

I have 4.5 hours of training for my new job to be followed by 12 at my current job tomorrow. I can’t say that’s a welcome prospect to me, but I’ll sleep in on my first day off to balance things out. I’m trying to think of something to do this week with my days off but am drawing a blank. What do the rest of you do with days off when you have no one else to hang out with and are saving every cent for a top secret plan?