I am Apollo Lemmon and this is my lifestream. I invite you to join me in my exploration of an integral life. I am focused on discovering what it means to live a life rooted in integral consciousness and I explore spirituality, art, community, technology, fitness and other aspects of a fully engaged life. I am now living in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada.

I can always be reached at apollo@apollolemmon.com

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Clearing Rust …

…From Tired Ears

Thursday Buck 65‘s “463″ single and A Silver Mt. Zion’s (The Silver Mt. Zion Memorial Orchestra & Tra-La-La Band) Born Into Trouble As The Sparks Fly Upward album came into my possession.

The Buck 65 single contains mostly songs I’ve already heard. “463″, in remix and album forms, is on the disc, as are “Eldorado” (a song released to B.A.M. this month), “Out of Focus” (the new song) and “Phil” (live). “Out of Focus” is a decent track, but doesn’t strike me as one of Buck 65′s best songs lyrically. It’s a good single, but you’d be better off saving your change and putting out the money for the full Talkin’ Honky Blues album, as this single’s really only for completists and those of you who haven’t yet heard Buck 65′s brilliance.

Born Into Trouble As The Sparks Fly Upward is beautifully packaged in the standard paper sleeve of A Silver Mt. Zion’s releases. The texture of this packaging alone speaks of the uniqueness of this project. The front cover is a textless, red scaled image of a black bird of a wire and the reverse shows a drawn black bird carrying a sing stating “Please Believe.” away from a large electrical tower. On the inside is an image of a man performing mouth-to-mouth on another man. In the right sleeve is the CD, which features a purple scaled, bound child. In the left sleeve was a piece titled “On The Failure of One Small Community In Achieving Its Own Ill-defined Dreams and/or Goals…” printed on long paper, telling of the failures and modern decay we live with.

The music itself is beautiful, haunting and somehow dangerous (in the sense music like this needs to be). Sweeping and soaring, crashing and rusting orchestrations abound on this album, forming moving pieces that call up many emotions. The vocal utterances, especially those of “Built Then Burnt (Hurrah! Hurrah!)”, were striking and beautifully crafted poetry. Even Efrim’s out of tune vocals are beautiful in their imperfect state when coupled with absolutely beautiful instrumentation.

If you are searching for beauty, filled with truth and troubles, this is an album you will treasure. It’s a haunting and very

relevant story of our times, that I sincerely believe needs to be heard by everyone. Here’s another recording to bless you, so seek it out when you can.

On the Arts & Crafts message board Deidre of Valley of the Giants posted the lyrics to her song “Westworld”. I’d been having some trouble making them out and writing down the lyrics myself, so it was definitely nice to see the official lyrics. Valley of the Giants are a wonderful band, so be sure to check them out. I can never stress how much they have impressed me. The lyrics:

“Westworld”

As a chance to expand

Rode the colour-coded tram to the west world

Should I wander should I wait

If the stagecoach is late in the west world

Chorus

Is there really no one except for me

And the powers that be

Are holding out on you and me

My enemy may be the last I see

Blurring out of focus

“central system psychosis”

In the west world

All the walls hear you sigh

See the portraits moving eyes in the west world

28.02.04 | View Comments

Idlewild

As a worm, it’s good to reside in rich earth. As a bookworm, it’s good to reside in books.
I’ve allowed my book worm tendencies to come to the fore lately. I had been quite neglectful of my reading needs for quite some time, but now I feel very enthused about diving into the books I have. Just 14 books remain in my physical stack of must-reads.
I finished Idlewild by Nick Sagan this morning after a few evenings spent on the story. It was an involving book with properties that induced the treasured can’t-put-it-down experience.
Idlewild was a well-crafted and unique vision of a near-future that splices some of the themes of Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game with The Matrix and a handful of other works, but it is also a distinct vision. It begins as an exploration of lost memory but soon progresses to explore integration with technology, combatting disease and varying relationships. This doesn’t do the story justice, because it’s steeped in intrigue and mystery that make the story truly compelling and draw the reader into the themes.
In an interview with Penguin (his publisher), Mr. Sagan said the following about his inspiration for Idlewild “I’d been thinking about the nature of education in the future. And I’d been daydreaming about mythology, drawing up a new pantheon of gods. Somewhere along the way, I started making connections between the concerns of gods and those of the cliques from back in high school. A jock and a god of war? A “brain” and a goddess of wisdom? A goth and a god of death? Out of that fusion came my characters. Before I knew it, I was writing.” This inspiration is quite clear in characters given life in this story. Each of the teenagers in the institution are variations of high school archetypes, from social darling to class clown. It should not, however, be assumed that the characters are flat or merely comply to those archetypes. Simone was a particularly dynamic personality. She was a “brain”, one of the most gifted students, but also became a junkie when exposed to reality.
Idlewild does not present an uplifting tale, and neither does it stand entirely as a warning. It struck me more as a statement of fact, or at least a vision of fact, and a look at the possible challenges we will be faced with in the future. Integration with technology and the confrontation of mortality are going to be pivital among many challenges humans will be faced with in this world we’ve created, like they always have been.
I would definitely recommend Idlewild with enthusiasm, but I will again warn that it’s not a happy tale. It speaks of reality and loss quite strongly, so it’s not for everyone. That said, it’s a well crafted book, and a story you won’t want to put down. Add it to your reading list and you won’t be disappointed.

As an afternote, I’d like to mention that the copy I have is an uncorrected proof. Aside from a few grammatical and spelling mistakes, this did not detract in any way from my enjoyment of the novel, and those small errors were only the slightest of distractions. The hardcover edition is currently in print, and the paperback will apparantly be released in July of 2004.
I highly recommend visiting Nick Sagan’s official website. It offers a good deal of insight into both the novel and its author.

27.02.04 | View Comments

Spiritwalk

I was not able to sleep at all last night. I was feeling rather odd in the later evening, and the restlessness carried on until dawn was passed by an hour. I honestly don’t know why I was unable to achieve any slumber, but it did provide me with a chance to finish reading the novel I was in the midst of.
I drew in the last words of Spiritwalk by Charles de Lint through tired eyes about an hour ago. I’ve been reading the novel for a few days short of month, between a non-fiction book and various shorter works I’ve discovered here and there. The delay was not due to any lack of quality in the story, but rather my own distractedness and stresses.
Spiritwalk is in the form of a novel, but is really a collection of three tightly connected stories, “Ascian in Rose”, “Westlin Wind” and “Ghostwood”. It is also a sequel to Moonheart, a novel I read and wrote about in December. Spiritwalk picked up the story of Tamson House and its residents and visitors several years after the events of Moonheart and continued with similar themes.
The interwoven Celtic and Native American myths continued to be a strong flavour of the stories. The presence of the mythic symbolism was always used in ways that enhanced the story rather than for mere show. The development of the very human characters was only enhanced by the presence of Coyote, Grandmother Toad, and others. While valid and facinating characters in their own rights, these mythic figures served to highlight the internal struggles of the characters they interacted with.
The human cast of Spiritwalk was a mix of familiar characters from Moonheart and Mr. de Lint’s other books, and new characters unique to this story. Emma and Esmeralda were certainly the highlights for me. They spoke of wonder lost and held dear respectively, and best embodied the spirit and conflict of the story for me. The struggle to discover one’s self, one’s strengths and one’s place in a community and individual relationships seemed to me very well demonstrated through those two dear friends.
What I come away with most importanly from this novel and all of Charles de Lint’s works is a strong sense of the need for real community. I can’t help but long for the sorts of relationships he is consistantly able to depict in his writings. There is something at once wholly magical and real in the sense of rewarding community that Mr. de Lint brings forth. There in no greater goal to have in our own circles than to create such communities of compassion, selflessness and openness.
Page by page, Spiritwalk reveals characters and stories that are endearing, intriguing and memorable. Like each other book Charles de Lint has published, this is a novel that will not leave you unchanged, and will undoubtably awaken a greater sense of unity with those around you. This is a book for lonely bus rides, long night reads, lost times and evenings by the fire. In other words, it’s a book I highly recommend you seek out and read.

24.02.04 | View Comments

Against The Rocks

“Smashing Us Against The Rocks, Against The Rocks”

I picked up some hazelnut coffee along with some other groceries today. Like the packaging says, the flavour’s “rich”. I have a feeling I’ll be drinking a good deal more coffee in the coming days because of this new blend. I’m sure I’ll be in need of the caffeine.

The sidewalks and landscape are still covered by snow, but the removal is progressing. Hopefully the buses will be running as normal soon. It’s definitely a hinderance to my employment endevours. Snow storms of this magnitude prove to be quite troublesome. It’s a good thing they are as uncommon as they happen to be, though global warming may be shifting that.

When I returned home from the trek, I discovered that The Squarewaves are now broadcasting The Squarewaves Radio in O.G.G. and RealAudio streams. Five songs are shared in the stream, and they are absolutely brilliant. I had high expectations for this band’s music, and I was not disappointed in any way. Deidre’s vocals and song writing are even better than in her previous projects, which is no small feat. She’s easily my favourite vocalist, largely because of the uniqueness of her singing style. The instrumentation, while sharing qualities with former projects, is strikingly different and dynamic. I can’t stress enough how excited I am about The Squarewaves. I’m eagerly awaiting their first release, and any chance I might have to see them perform live. Be sure to check out their stream for an introduction.

I had intended to write about my vision of utopia tonight, but I’ll have to work on that for later, and perhaps brainstorm for now. Fear not, I will share my vision before too long has passed. Do not expect office buildings, malls, obliviousness or capitalistic facists.

24.02.04 | View Comments

Snowscapes

Wednesday night Nova Scotia was hit with the biggest snow storm in recorded history. Around one meter of snow was dumped on us, and essentially shut down the province for several days. My street and its sidewalks are now cleared, but as of last night there was a heavy layer of snow on the road and the sidewalks were not traversable.

During a walk yesterday I had to climb huge snow banks to just get around the block. It was quite difficult to get anywhere in the local area, even with some clearing acomplished. Now those snow banks are even higher, and stand as white corridors down the street’s now cleared sidewalks.

Last night there was even a curfew imposed on the Halifax Regional Municipality that kept everyone off the roads and sidewalks from 11 p.m. until 7 a.m. in order to ensure safety as roads were cleared. A $1000 fine and confiscation of vehicles awaited any offenders. Today the state of emergency and curfew remain in place.

Unfortunately, the province is supposed to be dealt another blow of percipitation tonight. The western half of the province is expecting another fairly heavy dose of snow, and Halifax could also be hit with some. It seems the winter gods are in the mood to hit Nova Scotia harder than we’ve been hit in all memory.

You can read more about the storm and the recovery here.

I’ve been making the best of being snowed in and having the city shut down. I’ve made attempts to meditate and read more often, and prepared for returning to the job hunt as soon as that becomes possible. I’ll hopefully be able to accomplish lots more over the weekend.

I’d like to point you towards some recent postings I’ve written that you may have missed. “Feral Children” is a piece talking about isolated, confined, wolf and wild children and inspired by a website of the same name. “Bala Bay Inn” introduces and explains a bit of the history behind of one of my new favourite songs. “Link Archive” is an archive of all the links that were stored in my local link pool. There is also my look at the debut album from Valley of the Giants, “Valley of the Giants“.

21.02.04 | View Comments

Personality Test

Advanced Big 30 Personality Test Results

See my results here:

Advanced Big 30 Personality Test Results

Sociability ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Gregariousness ||||||||||||||| 50%
Assertiveness ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Activity Level |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Excitement-Seeking |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Enthusiasm ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Extroversion |||||||||||||||||| 59%
Trust |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Morality ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Altruism |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78%
Cooperation |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Modesty |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Sympathy |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Friendliness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Confidence ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Neatness ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Dutifulness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Achievement |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78%
Self-Discipline |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78%
Orderliness ||||||||||||||||||||| 69%
Anxiety |||||||||||| 34%
Volatility |||||| 18%
Depression ||||||||| 30%
Self-Consciousness |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Impulsiveness |||||||||||| 38%
Vulnerability ||||||||| 30%
Emotional Stability ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Imagination ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Artistic Interests |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Emotionality |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Adventurousness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Intellect |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Liberalism ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Openmindedness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%

Take Free Advanced Big 30 Personality Test

21.02.04 | View Comments

Bala Bay Inn

It should be no secret by now that I’m in love with Valley of the Giants’ debut. The closing song, “Bala Bay Inn” is currently my favourite. I decided to try to decipher the lyrics, and I think I have it all but one word. The lyrics added much to my appreciation of the song, so I decided to do some investigation into what the song is about, and what the Bala Bay Inn is.

“Bala Bay Inn”

The Bala Bay Inn was built in 1910

Not much has changed in this hotel

People still come by

To dance, dine and sing

And remember Louis Riel

Row boats on the water

Wave to the train passing by

Steamships and planes will never stop here again

But I hope that I will sometime

Row boats on the water

Wave to the trains passing by

Steamships and planes may never stop here again

But I hope that I do sometime

If you’re smokin’ that shit

You’d better get your mind right

(repeat)

The Bala Bay Inn is in Bala, Ontario, Canada. It was build in 1910 and given the name of Swastika Hotel. For obvious reasons, the hotel was renamed Bala Bay Lodge (in 1945, it seems). Today Bala Bay Inn is still open to the public and, as the song suggests, doesn’t appear to have changed a great deal over the years.

The Town of Bala itself was founded by Thomas W. Burgess, who became a lifelong proponent of native Canadian peoples’ rights. He named the town after Bala, Wales, a town he knew to have exceptional beauty like the Canadian Bala.

Ephraim Browning Sutton was the builder of the Swastica Hotel, in addition to a resort for U.S. Civil War Veterans. He was also a journalist for several papers and wrote verse under the pen name of Muskoka Bard.

According to Bala.net, Lucy Maud Montgomery was an important connection between Bala the maritimes (P.E.I. specifically). She was the author of Anne of Green Gables, but also wrote a story about Bala and the surrounding area, The Blue Castle, after visiting Bala during a stressful part of her life. She said, “Bala is a dear spot. Somehow I love it. It has the flavour of home.”

Bala was on main train and steam routes, and became a tourist attraction because of the resort appeal of the area. What I was able to read of the town’s history implies, as do Deidre’s lyrics, that the town is no longer stopped at by trains and boats, and may be in a bit of a decline. It none-the-less seems to be a beautiful place, worthy of visiting.

You can find a map of Bala here.

Some additional information added after this post:

In my entry about the history relevant to the Valley of the Giants song “Bala Bay Inn” I did not make mention of the history of Louis Riel, who was included in the lyrics of that song. I’d like to make a short addition here.

Louis Riel was a very important leader in Canadian history. He was a champion of the Métis (a nation of people with mixed Native American and European ancestry) and believed he was divinely chosen to lead these people. There was also speculation that he was a legitimate prophet (I haven’t discovered much on this, so if anyone has some other information they can share, I’d love to read it). Louis pushed for recognition of the Métis as a distinct people who deserved rights equal to other Canadians and he also pushed for French language protection for Manitoba. He lead two Métis rebellions against the Canadian government and was sentenced to death for treason after the second. Louis Riel was a facinating and noble man who gave his life in defence of human rights, and should be recognized by all Canadians as one of our true historical heros. I highly recommend reading about this man at the link I shared, and also seeking out other knowledge.

20.02.04 | View Comments

Feral Children

Today I’ve been reading articles at Feral Children, a website that documents and explores accounts of isolated, confined, wolf and wild children. The site is a well put together work that provides much information on so-called feral children. Many of the stories are heartbreaking, because the children told about suffered much while in the wild and isolation, and also when they were “rescued”. At the same time there is something to be respected in the way they were able to survive such difficult lives and adapt to a world outside human society.

Feral children, also known as wild children or wolf children, are children who’ve grown up with minimal human contact, or even none at all. They may have been raised by animals (often wolves) or somehow survived on their own. In some cases, children are confined and denied normal social interaction with other people.

There are many accounts on this site that I recommend you read. The Lobo Girl of Devil’s River was an especially interesting story, though may be only a folk tale. She was apparantly orphaned in Texas when her mother died in child birth and her father died due to a lightning strike while he was riding for help. It appeared that wolves had killed her when the neighbours finally arrived at the home she was born in. Ten years later she was spotted by a boy as she attacked a herd of goats along with a pack of wolves. Under a year after that a Mexican woman saw the same girl and two wolves kill a freshly killed goat. The girl ran off initially on all fours and then went to two legs. The girl was hunted and the girl was captured in a wild struggle. She was locked in a ranch and began to howl like wolves do. Many wolves answered her calls and swarmed around the ranch, attacking the animals. In the confusion and gunfire that followed, the girl was able to loosen a board over a window and escape. When the girl would have been seventeen she was spotted caring for two wolf cubs by a group of surveyers. She ran off carrying the cubs and was not seen again.

Kamala and Amala, the Wolf Girls of Midnapore is another facinating story of animal-raised children, and is one of the best known of the twentieth century. The two girls, eight and eight-teen months respecitively (though one account stated they were five and three), were found in a wolves’ den in 1920. They had been taken in by wolves several years apart and were not believed to be biological siblings. Their matted hair and lupine walking manner had lead locals to believe that the two were hideous spirits, but their discovery showed them to be normal girls who had been in the care of wolves long enough to have developed their traits. The girls had little humanness apparant when discovered. They would only eat raw meat, growled, slept curled up togeher on the floor, tore off any clothes they were given, would only awaken once the moon had risen and howled to be let free, they could not straighten their legs because of their prolonged life among wolves, they showed no interest in human company, showed only the emotion of fear, they had aquired superior senses, and seemed unable to hear human voices. Amala died not long after their human guardian began to teach them social behaviour, but Kamala gradually was taught to walk, eat food, welcome human company, to be house trained, and gained a vocabulary of 40-50 words before her death in 1929 to typhoid.

The site does not only focus on animal-raised children. In fact, one of the more current stories is of a girl named Genie, who was freed from confinement in 1970. She suffered from acute social deprivation inflicted by her parents and was strapped to a chair in one room for 13 years. Even after she was freed she suffered abuse, but was able to learn to walk and speak to some extent due to the efforts of language and social experts.

Feral Children is a facinating look at human survival and the importance of caring for and teaching children in their early development. It certainly prompted me to think a lot about how important human society is to our development, and how little separates us from our more primitive past. I highly recommend learning more about this facinating field.

19.02.04 | View Comments

Candles

I’ve been listening to only Valley of the Giants for the past two days. Their album is absolutely astounding. “Westworld” and “Bala Bay Inn” are definitely my initial favourites because of Deidre’s vocals. If you haven’t already, please read my review of Valley of the Giants’ self-titled album.

Andy Vial, the drummer and pianist for The Squarewaves dropped by my website tonight and let me know that the band now has a website up. Other than a bunch of nice photos there isn’t much up yet, but Andy said there will be news, show into and more pics up soon, so be sure to check out their site. I’m really looking forward to hearing their music and seeing them live if they play in Halifax.

A blizzard is supposed to hit here in Nova Scotia (and also in P.E.I.) tonight. I have candles and matches at the ready so that if the power goes out I’ll be able to see. Half a meter of snow is expected to fall over the next 24 hours. I doubt anything major will happen, but it’s always good to be prepared. I didn’t spend a few years in scouting for nothing. I don’t recall being told in Scouts or Cubs to keep candles on hand, though. I think some major issues must have been overlooked.

Recently in Canadian politics there has been a huge scandal for the ruling Liberal party. Members of the federal government funneled a quarter of a billion dollars to friends of the party through various government institutions, including the R.C.M.P. (the national police force). This alone is very disconcerting and is a huge betrayal to the Canadian people. What is far more worrying to me is that the conservative party of Canada has jumped to 50% support in some polls. As much as I hate to see government corruption, I would hate to see conservatives running our country far more. My only hope is that the N.D.P. will be able to take a leading role and gain power in the election that will come in the coming year.

In much happier news, my good friend Mandy has become my newest disciple. She has taken up the title of Wistful Disciple. Mandy joins the inspired, dreaming, sily, creative, enforcing and perfect ranks, and I’m very glad to welcome her. I have no doubt she’ll fit in with the other wonderful people who have been disciples of mine for varying lengths of time. If you like, you may read her introduction to the other disciples.

Wistful Disciple

Hello to those of you that don’t know me. I’m Mandy.

My real name is Maria Santiago. My pen name is Maria Patenaude. My friends just call me Mandy.

From this day forward I will also be known as the Wistful Disciple.

I’ve known Apollo since about May of last year. We met as Psychos on the Poe board and our friendship has grown since, particularly since he invited me to join LJ because through our journal entries we have had greater insights into each other’s personality.

I live in Puerto Rico, but I was born in Massachusetts. Many of my ancestors on my mother’s side are from Upper Musquidoboit, Nova Scotia, which means I’m probably related to Apollo’s old neighbors. (If you know anybody named Cox or Patenaude, they’re probably family, so say hi for me.)

My dream is to leave some sort of a legacy; make a positive impact on someone in some way. I don’t know if I will accomplish this through my music, my writing, teaching, or just being someone’s friend. You never know.

Anyway, I’m glad to be here.

Hugs,

Mandy

PS: Extra large hug for Apollo.

18.02.04 | View Comments

Hearing Heartbeats From The Tower

In the days after “Straying From The Tower” I continued my hunt, read and meditated. It was much like days before, so I felt little motivation to write about those days here. Time has sadly been blurring lately, and it feels as though no progress is being made in the job hunt. Hope is not to be lost, though. I’ll be striving to accomplish all I can until I reach an outcome. I hope I’ll not fail.
Saturday afternoon my parents visited me here in the cave. My father wished to help Ilea and I with taxes, so they made the trek into the city and brought along some food for me. We all sat in the living room and worked on filling out all the forms and then drove to the mall and walked around there for a while. It was nice to see my folks again, as it’s been several weeks since they were last able to visit.
After my folks left Nathan and I went for a walk. The air was warmer than it has been recently, so it was a good day for some foot work. After a couple hours of wandering we returned home with a game to play and some food to consume.
Later that night Nathan and I were amused by the antics of an intoxicated Greg stumbling from the kitchen to his room. It took him a noticibly short period of time to gain his giddy state. He’s an entertaining lad.
When we had all awakened this morning I took out the apple cider that my parents had left with us. I heated the wonderful cider, added some cinnamon (which dictionary.com tells me is “the dried aromatic inner bark of certain tropical Asian trees in the genus Cinnamomum, especially C. verum and C. loureirii, often ground and used as a spice.”) and other spices and then served the mixture. It was quite good. It’s been a long while since I last had any cider, since Ashley’s first visit, actually.
This afternoon I sat listening to Melissa Etheridge’s Breakdown. It’s a beautiful album and I enjoy it greatly, but it’s an album I often forget about. It’s a good album for a lonely, lazy Sunday afternoon and has proven to be good company. I must remember to hunt down some of her other albums when I can.
I took a look at a site called Illegal Art this evening. It contains many facinating glimpses at how copyright laws have failed to benefit our culture, and how it helps to limit artistic freedoms. “Righting Copywrongs” was an especially interesting article that helped to highlight the corruption of the copyright system to favour big business. “If current copyright law had been in effect a hundred years ago, the U.S. government might have had to pay royalties to use the image of Uncle Sam, and so would anyone who wanted to depict a jolly red-suited Santa Claus (both were created by the cartoonist Thomas Nast, who died in 1902).” was the line that showed the ridiculousness of current copyright laws best to me. Allowing a copyright to last more than 50 years seems quite harmful to me. It doesn’t benefit the artist who created the work at all once they die, and certainly inhibits artistic expression.
My meditation time has been increasingly rewarding lately. I’ve found myself able to more deeply meditate now that I include sounds. I’ve always found guided meditations to be rewarding, but I now have other sounds. I find that nature sound tracks provide the best sonic environment for rejuvenating meditation.

16.02.04 | View Comments