I’m warming my bare feet on the heater now, trying to convince myself I’m sitting by a fire and somehow not being successful. Winter can be over any time now. I’ve had my fill of cold and snow. I do have the santuary of this heater though.
The days have been passing as they have for some time now. I’ve been putting hours into the hunt each day with limited results. I’m learning as quickly as I can what’s needed for this, and I hope I will find the proper path before time runs out.
While away from my computer, it’s been working at getting some e-books transferred to my Clie, a task which seems to take a great amount of time and processing power. All the books I’ve collected so far are now stored on my Clie, so I will update my book list soon with the new additions. I have only 16 physical books left to read before I’m completely finished.
I’ve been reading Charles de Lint’s Spiritwalk for the past two nights, and I’ve found it to be a wonderful continuation of Moonheart. The familiar characters that return have become more endearing, and the new characters have quickly become among my favourites from his writings.
My meditations lately have been hindered by a slight cold. A sore throat and a stuffed up nose became a distraction that kept me from stillness and made the breathing exercises especially hard. It hasn’t kept me from trying a few times each day, but it has limited my results to less than my last break through experience.
I’m sleeping in the cellar, dreaming of the spirits under the water-dome.

I’ve spent the weekend working on a master freedom plan. Things have become quite dire due to my inability to find work, so I’ll be using some more agressive strategies now that I have received some fresh parental council. It’s down to the wire, so wish me the luck I’ll need in order to succede.

My music of choice these past few days has been provided by Live. I was able to find an entire live concert online that has superb quality and spent much of my weekend listening to it. I now wish I could see them live more than ever. I’ve also been listening to thier albums more than usual this weekend and my appreciation for them is growing constantly.

Yesterday I made use of two of the gifts my dreaming disciple sent me. In the afternoon I decided to brew some of the Coffee Beanery coffee and selected the Beanery Blend packet. I don’t have a coffee percolator, so I searched for an alternative and chose what is called campfire coffee. I used a variation of the methods suggested there and made a slow pot of coffee. The final product wasn’t overly impressive, but I had some nice cups of coffee.

Later in the evening I decided to watch the copy of Lord Love A Duck that Sarah sent me. Watching the film for a second time allowed me to notice some of the more subtle elements and added to my appreciation it. Tuesday Weld is just as mesmerizing each time I see her. I hope to someday be able to see her other movies as well. I’m certainly very happy to have a copy of this film that I can watch whenever I please and that I’ll be able to share with my friends.

I’m currently reading Meditations & Dreamwork by Tara Ward. The opening chapters have been quite useful in understanding meditations and for discovering new methods to conduct them. While some assumptions she makes have been rather distracting, the books has been rewarding to read. The Tao of Inner Peace by Diane Dreher, which I read during the summer, did include many important meditation-related parts, but this book focuses on meditation and goes farther into the depths of the subject. I certainly feel I am learning valuable skills with this book.

This exciting new book is a map for a rewarding journey of personal discovery. For most of us, the routine tasks of cooking, cleaning, ironing or waiting for the bus are just chores that get in the way of really enjoying life. In this unique and thought-provoking book, Tara Ward offers a structured, step-by-step course that helps readers to redefine their daily existence in a positive way. With practical exercises in meditation, communicating with spirit guides and dreamwork, readers can learn to enjoy every moment of their lives. With the help of this book, they can fully appreciate what is working well, and learn to turn negative scenarios into positive and encouraging ones. [x]

This evening I dedicated an hour to meditation at long last. It’s been months since I last focused on meditation for any sustained time. The meditative excercise I chose to work on was a cleansing exercise the book suggested. The goal was to create a mental sanctuary for use in cleansing during the initial stages of the meditative process. After some conflict with stray images, I was able to focus on the creation of a sanctuary and was successful in providing myself with a personal place in which I could be free of outside conflicts.

The vision I developed came together in parts, evolving from several very calming locations. I came into the place sitting with my legs crossed (though I was in fact lying down while meditating). I was on a very high tower, with a bone-white exterior. Before me there was a beautiful and vast landscape. A forest surrounded the tower, but gave way to a coastline, which circled to each side and created a sheltered harbour (Was it a subconscious play on words, considering that the word harbour also can mean a place of shelter; a refuge?). Behind me the forest (filled with mostly green deciduous trees) stretched out for miles and eventually met with a range of impressive, snow-topped mountains, which also formed a cyclical enclosure, this time around a fresh water lake. Gradually I became aware that the tower itself was becoming enveloped by falling water. Above me on the top of the tower floated a finely cut blue stone, roughly the size and dimensions of a cell phone, though sharp at the ends. From this stone the water had its source and flowed through the air to form a dome that became broken at intervals no shorter than half a minute with waterless spaces through which I could see the beautiful landscape surrounding the tower. The tower became a a circular waterfall in the center of the forest, flowing into unseen rivers and streams that would move to the harbour. My cleansing and departure from this beautiful place took place when I cupped my hands, filled them with the dome-water, and drank deeply of it.

I read an article titled “Trouble on the right as Toryism unravels” at Rabble.ca just now, and it was an interesting look at the lost positive side of conservativism. I recommend you read this piece from a writer for The Chronicle Herald, Halifax’s independant news paper.

Also on the topic of Canadian politics, the National Library of Canada has interesting articles about Sir John A. Macdonald and Joseph Howe, two important leaders during the formation of Canada. I was able to learn much I did not know about their work and stances that has given me a better understanding of that time.

The Trews will be performing on the ECMA‘s February 15 at 8 p.m. A.S.T. on CBC They are a great live act, so I’m sure you’ll be impressed by them if you tune in. I believe you can find a live feed on the CBC website. Matt Mays & El Torpedo and Great Big Sea will also be performing. Notable awards nominees include Buck 65 (male artist, alternative album), The Trews (new artist / group, rock recording), and Sloan (too many to name).

Photos that were once included with this entry have been removed and may now be in my main photo album.

Photos that were once included with this entry have been removed and may now be in my main photo album.

When I awoke this morning I walked down the stairs to see if my parcel from Sarah had arrived. Yesterday the UPS folks had left a paper for me to sign in order for the package to be left. The package was indeed in the entrance to the building, so I brought it up to my room and opened it up. Inside there were more foam packing peanuts than I had seen in many years. I had to swim through them to find each of the items Sarah had sent.

Everything in the package is great. A Poe pin and an Eowin, from Lord of the Rings, pin adorn my man-purse now, The Coffee Beanery coffee sits before my dwindling collection of paperbacks, a VHS copy of Lord Love A Duck sits beside that, an unadorned styrofoam head sits on my desk ready to be decorated, and a lovely note from my dreaming disciple rests by my left hand. I am one happy saviour right now.

I will be decorating the head from Sarah as soon as she lets me know what she would like done with it. I lack any impressive artistic talent, so not much can be expected from me. Now a head will exist for all but three of my disciples and I. Sascha, Alisha and Ashley certainly should have some in the future.

Thank you, my wonderful Dreaming Disciple, for your warming gifts. I really appreciate each of them, and will make proper use of them. I will be sending you a small token in the form of music once you have relocated.

I saw Return of the King again tonight, and it was as rewarding as the first viewing. I would like a mini series based on The Silmarillion to be made. Someday if I have connections I will work to make that happen. Nathan and I discussed the possibilities that would bring. Multiple directors could flesh out each segment of those fantastic stories; stories far better than anything else written by Tolkien.

My collection of paper books that I need to read is diminishing because I’ve been able to find many in ebook form. That makes me quite happy. 28 remain to be read, and that many again in ebook form wait. I am a happy book worm.

My roommate and sister plan to move in together after their school years finish. They’ve been dating for nearly 3 years now, Greg’s a nice guy and they seem happy, so I’ll be wishing them the best. This would mean that we may have a room free here in a few months. Would anyone like to move in? You’d be able to stay up to all hours being psycho!

“Don’t feed me sorrow, pain is a poison I digest”
I really enjoy Collective Soul. They were my favourite band from the time I was 12. Now I believe they have passed out of that spot and the new batch of amazing bands I’ve discovered will take turns there. I have a feeling Valley of the Giants may move into top spot as soon as I have their album.
“Off upon my journey I must go, to where the river flows”

Life for me has been rather static lately. I’m still hunting and working on some projects when I have the time. I did, however, attempt to make a snow being out of some of the foot of snow sitting in front of the cave, but my sister and Greg misinformed me about the snow’s “packiness” so I had to return to the cave without leaving a mark.

Remember a while ago when I mentioned a new band called Valley of the Giants? On the Arts & Crafts message board, someone informed me that not only is Strawberry‘s Deidre a member of the band, but another former Strawberry member, Scott, is part of this new project. In even better news, Scott and Deidre have a new band that is going under the name The Squarewaves. They’re recording a new EP and plan a full release soon as well. This is certainly exciting news for fans of their music.

My friend Mark has been nominated for the Fourth Annual Weblog Awards. I think he deserves the award, as he has consistantly done cool stuff with his site, especially with the creation of Link Pool. Please go vote for his Shiny Plastic Bag in the Best Canadian Weblog section.

I was directed to Nation States . net tonight. It’s an interesting nation simulation. You can view a profile for my nation, The Free Land of Frozen Truth, here. The site is interesting, though it does tend to have considerable bias (i.e. a socialist economy must be in poor shape). Below are some statistics about my nation, which sounds rather appealing so far.

UN Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights: Good
Economy: Basket Case
Political Freedoms: Average
Location: Otherland of Compassion
The Free Land of Frozen Truth is a tiny, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its punitive income tax rates. Its compassionate population of 5 million are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.
It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it concentrates mainly on Social Welfare, although Healthcare and Education are secondary priorities. The average income tax rate is 65%, and even higher for the wealthy. Private enterprise is illegal, but for those in the know there is a slick and highly efficient black market in Arms Manufacturing.
Crime is totally unknown. Frozen Truth’s national animal is the crow, which frolics freely in the nation’s many lush forests, and its currency is the work hour.

Have you ever wondered what I’m listening to at any given moment? I didn’t think so. However, now you can find out the last ten songs I’ve listened to. Thanks to a AudioScrobbler, I now have a list of songs I’m listening to here. It will be updated instantly, so you can always check on what I have playing.

For the record, I’m listening to Broken Social Scene’s “Cause = Time” at the moment.

I’ve been thinking that I need to return to the House. It’s been months since I last read House of Leaves, and I feel a strong urge to read it once more. It’s a book unlike any other, in part because it calls to be read over and over. Through several sources I’ve discovered some new keys to understanding the book, and I would really like to delve into the questions it offers. I do need to wait for Wanda to make her way through the house, but once she returns I will explore again.

Life is full of cycles, and it’s time to break some of the less pleasant ones in my own life. There are some necessary changes that will determine much of the future, and I’m working to make them. One part of this will be Project Whispers, the follow up to Project Digital Knapsack. The latter is not finished, and will never be so, but I soon hope it will be caught up to the present day. The former is a new writing project that I am hoping will give me the direction to complete work I am comfortable sharing.

I decided to fill my mini discs with some of my favourite albums (and a few selected songs). It was hard to narrow it down to 40 hours of music, but it’ll be nice to have these albums in a portable form. I also have added a mediation disc, which I will use as a tool to aid in my meditation. Read on for my mini disc master list.

Disc 000

Meditation – Centering and Cleansing (guided)

Meditation – Harmony of the Soul (chant)

Meditation – Crystal Cave (guided)

Meditation – Awakening (guided)

Meditation – Rainforest (sound)

Meditation – Mountain Cave (guided)

Meditation – Moonlight (guided)

Meditation – Thunderstorm (sound)

Meditation – Cove(sound)

Meditation – Temple by a River (sound)

Meditation – Relaxation (guided)

Meditation – Diversity (sound)

Meditation – Ocean (sound)

Meditation – Rainforest II (sound)

Meditation – Native Flute (sound)

Meditation – Sacred Drums (sound)

Meditation – Native Love Chant (sound)

Meditation – Fire (sound)

Meditation – Beach (sound)

Meditation – Meditation Bells (sound)

Meditation – Circle of Light (sound)

Meditation – Rain in the Forest (sound)

Meditation – Breathing (guided)

Meditation – Moondance (sound)

Meditation – Inner Temple (sound)

Meditation – Heart (chant)

Meditation – Root (sound)

Meditation – Heart (sound)

Meditation – Throat (sound)

Krishna Das – Selections

Disc 001

Broken Social Scene – Feel Good Lost

Eyes For Telescopes – Please Survive

A Silver Mt. Zion – This Is Our Punk Rock

Broken Social Scene – You Forgot It In People

Eyes For Telescopes – Soundsaroundus

Tuesdays – “Bangor Maine”

Disc 002

Brokeheart – Demos

Strawberry – Brokeheart Audio

Audioslave – Audioslave

Conjure One – Conjure One

A Perfect Circle – Thirteenth Step

A Perfect Circle – Mer de Noms (+/-)

Disc 003

A Perfect Circle – Mer de Noms (+/-)

The Trews – House of Ill Fame

Sam Roberts – We Were Born In A Flame

Matthew Sweet – Kimi Ga Suki Raifu

Buck 65 – Talkin’ Honky Blues

Buck 65 – Square

Buck 65 – Buck A Month (selections)

Disc 004

Godspeed You! Black Emperor – Yanqui uxo

Godspeed You! Black Emperor – Slow Riot For New Zero Kanada

Tool – Lateralus

The Thorns – The Thorns

Tegan and Sara – If It Was You

Shalabi Effect – “On The Bowery”

Matthew Sweet – Girlfriend (+/-)

Disc 005

Matthew Sweet – Girlfriend (+/-)

Smashing Pumpkins – Machina

Godspeed You! Black Emperor – Lift Your Skiny Fists Like Antenas To Heaven

Tom Cochrane – X-Ray Sierra

Poe – Haunted (+/-)

Disc 006

Poe – Haunted (+/-)

Matthew Sweet – In Reverse

Tom Cochrane – Ragged Ass Road

Hawksley Workman – Lover / Fighter

Live – Birds of Pray

Live – The Distance To Here

Disc 007

Tori Amos – Scarlet’s Walk

Neil Young – Harvest

Delerium – Chimera

Collective Soul – 7even Year Itch

Tea Party – Tangents

Disc 008

Valley of the Giants – Valley of the Giants

A Silver Mt. Zion – Born Into Trouble As The Sparks Fly Upward

The Squarewaves – Demos

Buck 65 – Buck A Month (selections)

Ani Difranco – Evolve

Lederhosen Lucil – Selections

Poe – Hello

Tricky – Evolution Revolution Love